Standing On My Own

For those of you that will actual read this, you’ll probably hear more about how I feel about my self and my life than some of my best friends. I’ve arrived on the beautiful Gold Coast of Australia slightly over a week ago. I have never been so nervous, but comfortable at the same time. Although I left my hometown directly after high school, I was always connected to other people in some way. Sometimes it was just that we shared the same culture and now that I am here all of those things that kept me inside my comfort zone are gone. I feel like I have learned so much about myself already.

The biggest thing that this has taught me is that I can stand on my own. It’s not in a way that I’m financially stable (believe me, I’m not) or that I know exactly where my life is going (I also don’t know that either). It is that I am finally living for myself and not others. When I first began college I let so many people into my life that did not deserve a place there simply because I did not want to be alone. Most of the days here at Griffith I have been alone, but I’m so happy. It has shown me that the people that are suppose to be in my life will be there. I no longer have to worry that I’m missing out when I’m binge watching Supernatural instead of going to have awkward small talk. I am letting myself do whatever makes me happy in that moment not worrying about what others may think. I allow myself to get drunk if I want or go to bed at 9 p.m. while everyone heads out for a night on the town. I go out and do volunteer work because there are always such beautiful people there and go to programs even if others would deem them dorky.

I am finally living for me. It may have taken putting thousands of miles between myself and my comfort zone, but I am changing for the better. I have such a love for life now, especially when I’m able to just lay in bed and read A Clash of Kings. I am letting go of everything that held me back from being myself. I’m thrilled to see what all can now happen in my life in these next couple of months. Hopefully, you’ll stick around to see them happen.

 

Letting go. Letting myself live. Breathing.

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