I’m not sure if I’ll ever get into another relationship if I can’t figure out how to get out of my head. It never seems to stop making up all of these wild scenarios of what could happen or what could be. I do it with everything and everyone, but especially with people that I am attracted to. It’s easier to just imagine what these people could be instead of making myself actually go talk to them.
It gets to a point where I have such big expectations of a person that I’ll never talk to them or if I do they just fall short in my mind. It almost feels like a defense mechanism. If I just build people up too much, then I don’t ever want to let them close enough that I can get hurt. Maybe it’s just a big hint that I’m not ready for another relationship after my last super shitty one. I can just keep my lovely adventures in my head because they’ll always be better than what will probably happen in real life. It’s a really good way to not get hurt, but maybe these silly ideas are hurting me more than I realize now. Who knows. I’ll just keep going and see where I end up.
I can always just get old and only have pets and adopt a kid from somewhere cool.