I find it so crazy that so many people in my life are more interested if I’m falling in love or hooking up with guys in Australia than all the cool shit I’m doing. It just amazes me that people that know me so well worry about something as silly as me not trying to date anyone for long periods of time. Even if I’m interested in people, it’s so hard to get anything started because I run so much. I live in Virginia or Pennsylvania, but right now I live in Australia. I don’t want to spend my free weeks going back to places I already know just to see someone. I want to get out and explore and see as much as I can. I don’t plan on slowing down any time soon.
That is rather conflicting with this weird idea of what a “perfect” relationship is that everyone seems to want. I would be totally okay with making long distance things work or having someone to adventure with every once and a while. People just think that once you get into a relationship that you should be spending all kinds of time together and start doing “adult” things like living together and being engaged and junk. I couldn’t imagine how miserable I would be if being with someone that I loved met giving up so much of what I want to do. I want someone that will recognize that maybe sometimes they won’t be able to see me for months because I’m off doing whatever. Just because I am not right next to someone doesn’t mean I don’t love them. Once I let someone in this heart of mine, it does not matter if I see them everyday or once a year or if they are with me or across the world, they mean the world to me (friend wise or relationship wise). That explains why I’m not just hooking up on my adventures either.
I just don’t seem to fit into anyone’s idea of what they are looking for in a girl right now and I haven’t found anyone that seems like they could put up with me. That’s all fine to me because I am doing amazing things and loving life. All the rest will figure itself out.
Maybe one day I’ll find someone to run with me.
All the time that I have spent in Australia has opened my eyes to how connect this world is, especially our problems. One thing that happens way over here can still affect my home across the world and vice-versa. In 2018, the Gold Coast will be hosting the Commonwealth Games and such a large event has the potential to really impact the environment. That is why a group of concerned students and faculty members from Griffith University are trying to get them to live up to their name of the “Green Games.” Plastics are one of the biggest problems that negatively affect ecological systems on land and in the ocean. We are looking for the games to limit their use of plastics to help keep not only the Gold Coast beautiful, but the world as a whole. Just small things like providing reusable water bottles with hydration stations, not using balloons, and not using plastic bags is something that could make a great difference. So, stand with us and sign the petition that I’ve linked below. Show them that the whole world is watching and wants to see them set the standard for how an event of this size should and can be operated. If you want to do even more, then share it with anyone else that you feel would support this cause!
Petition to Limit the Use of Plastics at the 2018 Commonwealth Games
Birthdays just get weird when you get older. You spend the whole beginning of your life around people that know when your birthday is and they plan parties for it or whatever. Then, you hit this weird point, usually in college, where people don’t really know when it is and if you want to do anything for it you have to plan it yourself. It doesn’t mean that they don’t care about it, it is just this weird shift from everyone around me knows me so well to all these people that love me know very little about me because maybe you didn’t even know them on your last birthday. People come and go a lot more quickly in college than in hometowns.
It was a weird switch for me because I hate focusing on myself, but loving doing things for everyone else’s birthday. It ends up with me usually going all out for everyone else’s birthday and letting mine slip around the rug. Like, today, as I sit here and type this. I probably should be making some kind of effort to go out and do things for it. I’m happy to just sit at home and read though and dance around my room.
I don’t really know when I stopped thinking my birthday was a big deal, but maybe I’m just kind of growing up.
When everyone hears that word they think of all the people they have in lives. So many people would never think of all the connections you have to the earth. It’s been on my mind lately just how connected I am with it. Just like the trees in fall, I change with the seasons. My hair changes colors and my eyes get darker or lighter along with the color of my skin whether it’s retreating back to pale or all my freckles are making their debut. I feel entirely different by the ocean than I do in somewhere in the forest. People like to think we are so above the trees and plants that live based on the seasons and sun, but I don’t think we are. It affects us just the same, but no one takes the time to pay attention to it.
There’s something bigger that people are missing and maybe that is why people are so oblivious to what we are doing to the environment and everything around us. Maybe if everyone had to stop and feel how big of a role everything around us plays in our lives.
There is something there. Something always pulling and pushing you to where you need to be. You just have to open your heart and mind to it.
All the parts of me change with the seasons. You can’t tell me I’m not connected to this earth.
Growing up my mother was usually more worried about making sure I got all the dirt off of me before I came in the house than teaching my how to curl my hair. I didn’t grow up in a home that emphasized the ideal of physical beauty. We went out in dirty clothes with our hair on top of our heads because we needed something from Lowe’s to finish some type of project. I still don’t understand 90% of makeup products and I’ll probably never get my hair/nails to look like the girls on Pinterest. I am absolutely okay with that and I spent so much time thinking that I was so much better off than all of these girls that spent so much time focused on their looks. I thought somehow I had escaped the harsh world of having to look good all the time as a woman.
That is until I realized what was holding my back from making a decision that would make me feel better mentally and physically for about two years. I recently made the decision to switch birth control methods from the pill to a hormone free IUD. I was put onto birth control at a pretty young age because it helped control my acne. For years and years, I dealt with this little pill playing with my emotions if I wasn’t on point with how I was taking it (I usually wasn’t). It took me getting to a pretty scary place in my life to final decide that I couldn’t continue letting my emotions balance on whether I remembered to take my pill or not.
I was terrified to switch because I didn’t know what my skin would look like. I stopped taking my pills and the worst happened just like I thought it would. My skin looked like I was back in middle school and I couldn’t believe how such a small thing completely changed how I thought about myself. It was probably another month until I decided that my mental health was more important to me than having perfect skin. So, that means it was almost three years of knowing that my pills were negatively affecting me, but not making a change because I was so worried about my appearance.
I have had my IUD for about four months now and I have been so much healthier mentally, which has translated to me being able to be more healthy physically. My skin still is not perfect, but has had time to settle down and I have found other ways to keep it looking good. I know this may seem like a lot of TMI, but I just wanted to put this here for anyone that it struggling with their appearance. Feeling good about yourself effects so much of your daily life. Remember that beauty is not just what you look like on the outside, but how you carry yourself and how you think about yourself. In these months, I have learned so much about myself and what I want because I had to learn how to be happy about my appearance again.
I promise that the world will think you are beautiful if you learn how to hold your head high and keep going with a smile on your face. All those thoughts that bounce around your head of what you think other people are judging or staring at are just thoughts. People notice your words, your actions, your attitude, which cancels out such small things like acne or crooked teeth. Anyone that truly deserves to be in your life will never notice those things and if they do, they still won’t matter. Do what is best for you in life and take care of yourself. The beauty will figure itself out while you focus on more important things in your life.
If you happened to read my post, It All Works Out in My Head, then you know I fall in love with the little bits of people I pass everyday instead of talking to people and making actual relationships. I think I’m okay with it now that I’ve convinced myself that Hozier acts the same way because he’s a babe.