Writing When Writing Doesn’t Make Sense

I hope that even if one day I’m really successful that no one feels the need to write a biography about me. They would probably have to find 8 million things to figure out where I was deciding to write things down at a certain time. I write when I’m stressed and I write when good things happen. Sometimes it feels right to have in it this public of a space and sometimes it doesn’t. Lately, it’s been in my journal or in my Passion Planner that I’ve mentioned before.

Since the last time I wrote anything on here, I moved, started and finished a new internship with Bkstg, finished my graduate program, started working on launching my thesis project as a business, and my boyfriend moved in. Those are a lot of big updates that I didn’t share and instead just wrote down in my journal or elsewhere.

It isn’t because I didn’t want to share them, but instead, wasn’t sure how. “Write for your blog” has been on my to-do list for about a month now and I’d accomplish everything else and be left staring at those four words. I didn’t know how and couldn’t understand why.

Writing for me has always been a cathartic process for better or worse, but recently I’ve been handling relationships and self-care better. I didn’t feel the need to write to people I didn’t know. It scared me when I started feeling like I needed to write again. The first thought was that I was falling back into a depressive state. I knew that I ignored it last time from re-reading my journal and didn’t want to this time. I focused on reaching out to

I focused on reaching out to friends and family because after 24 years here I finally realized that the people that love me want to know what’s going on in my life whether it’s good or bad. I knew I wasn’t letting myself fall back to where I was but still felt a desire to write.

About what though? That’s where I am now. I have no idea how or what I want to write about moving forward. It is this weird state of confliction that I feel about the majority of things in my life right now.

I don’t know what I am going to write or what this blog will look like in three months, but I am determined to write if my brain says write. I hope you enjoy whatever comes next.

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First week in LA: Complete

My first week in LA is over, which is insane. I still feel like I just got here. The week was so nice and I am starting to settle in and adjust to the area. The driving isn’t bad, but it’ll be a lot easier once I know where I’m going without a GPS. I love my apartment, but with the owner leaving a lot of decorations it’s hard to make it feel like mine.

Santa Monica Pier

I’ve been able to explore a little more and I am so in love with the west coast. The Media Ventueres crew took a trip to Santa Monica, visited the Getty Museum, and were able to check out some restaurants and bars.

I’ve been trying to walk around my neighborhood to get to know the area more and to figure out a nice walking route for Luna. Today, we were able to go on our first hike. That also meant driving on the PCH for the first time to get there. It was absolutely beautiful and the views from the hike were stunning.

Sandstone Peak trail
Luna ❤
View from 3,111 feet
View from my car after finishing the hike

I cannot wait to see what else this amazing place brings me.

PA ➡ CA

I made it! Here I am in LA for my second semester of grad school. Driving across the country was not what I always romanticized it to be, but maybe it was because we didn’t have a lot of time and also had a dog with it. It was just breathtaking though. I would sit in the car and just stare out the window because I’ve never seen landscapes like some of the ones I experienced.

I’ve been here for 3 days now and I’m settling in pretty well. It’s been harder than any of my other moves in my life because there isn’t a plan or date for when I’ll be going “home.” I don’t know if it even makes sense to call it home since I spend so little time there. I am loving it though and I know once I have more going on and I learn my way and around the city, then it will feel more real.

I am so excited to be here. If anyone has suggestions on places to go, things to see, day trips, weekend trips or anything for LA, please share!

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One semester down. Off to another

Better late than never, right? I’ve been done with my first semester of grad school for almost a month now and I am currently boogeying across the states to get ready to start my second. I’m finally driving all the way across the country (I promise I’ll make a post all about it once I get to California.)

MV17 babes at Inbound 2016

But back to the real reason I’m writing and that is to talk about how this semester went. I am pleased to report that I don’t think I’ve ever felt like I was on such a perfect path in life until this I started my grad program. Boston felt perfect. I love the people in my program. Everything seems like it is just falling into its correct place. 

My Boston home will always have a big chunk of my heart

It wasn’t always smiles and rainbows, but it got done and I actually did a lot better than I expected. I am even now leaning towards pursuing starting my company that is my thesis project after I finish my degree.

How insane is that? I left for this program thinking I would just cruise through the year and set myself up for a better career. Now, I have the confidence to pursue being an entrepreneur and have such amazing relationships whether they are new or old.

Got to show off Boston to a lot of friends, but also family like my aunt and sister

I absolutely fell in love with Boston. I was so excited that so many people I love were able to come up and visit. I was only there for four months and I was able to do so much. I do really enjoy this more nomadic lifestyle of being in places for just short amounts of time. We’ll see where that leads me.

I was able to have some great adventures in my four months. Diving with seals was probably my favorite

All I can do now is just keep trucking down this path that life has me on and smile at wherever I end up. Set on the present, but eager for being in LA and seeing where 2017 takes me.

Bad news on top of bad news

A close friend of mine has recently shared a story with me that was upsetting just to hear let alone live through. His step sister had been recently diagnosed with breast cancer and had to miss work for the appointments that could be saving her life. The company she works for, U.S. Bank, made the decision to let her go stating that it was on the grounds of her missing too much work.

I am no lawyer or anything of that sort, but things do not just seem to add up. It seems that something of this degree should be protected. No one needs to lose their job after already being dealt absolutely devastating news. If you have any advice for where to turn to, what to do, etc., please let me know and I will pass it on to them. It has been shared a lot through my whole friend group’s social media accounts so I thought I would come reach out to the WordPress community for any help or support.

If you want to help, please let U.S. Bank know that this decision is not commendable, provide support or advice for how to deal with this situation, or donate to her GoFundMe. To see this during a month that is so focused on supporting those battling against, recovered from, or those that have lost their fight with breast cancer makes me feel like so many efforts for this disease go unnoticed.

I will be doing all I can to help see this situation end in a favorable and helpful manner not just to Maureen, but to help a company see how their practices can hurt people and to improve their relationship with employees.

Keeping my head in the clouds

I like people who embrace their peculiarities, who aren’t afraid of drawing unwanted attention and would never dare soften their strangeness for others. People who demand their dreams into existence and speak thoughtfully and live passionately without reserve or reluctance. -Beau Taplin

I was told a very important thing a couple of days ago and I guess I’ve heard it my whole life, but it comes so seldom that sometimes I forget. That is to trust myself and to trust my ideas when I have faith in them. My whole life I’ve been told things like that I’m a waste of potential or that I could do so much more with my intelligence, but why can’t I use it the way I want to? I’ve been told that my personality wouldn’t fit into an office setting (because I have tattoos or cuss like a sailor or yadda yadda blah blah) or that I wouldn’t do well in grad school for one reason or the other. There’s always so many people telling you no whether they are trying to protect you or break you down that it is easy to forget people that support you. I have managed to do all of those and there is no reason to stop believing in myself now.

There could be someone out there that is desperately waiting for your idea or project or music. At some point, you will have to take that step to say that you know what you are doing and go for it. Will it always work out? Absolutely not, but it gets you one step closer to exactly where you are supposed to be. Do not give up who you are or what you love to be safe or please others. Demand your dream into existence as Beau says. At the end of the day, you are the number one thing you have and if you cannot be happy, then what is the point?

So, I’ll be over here with my head in the clouds thinking of some more ideas that people will tell me will never work just so I can prove them wrong (at least on some of them).